Saturday 9 March 2013

Funny Sms Jokes In English

source(google.com.pk)
Funny Sms Jokes In English Biography
FUNNY
adj. fun·ni·er, fun·ni·est
1.
a. Causing laughter or amusement.
b. Intended or designed to amuse.
2. Strangely or suspiciously odd; curious.
3. Tricky or deceitful.
n. pl. fun·nies Informal
1. A joke; a witticism.
2. funnies
a. Comic strips.
b. The section of a newspaper containing comic strips.

Arousing or provoking laughter; "an amusing film with a steady stream of pranks and pratfalls"; "an amusing fellow"; "a comic hat"; "a comical look of surprise"; "funny stories that made everybody laugh"; "a very funny writer"; "it would have been laughable if it hadn't hurt so much"; "a mirthful experience"; "risible courtroom antics"

SMS
Short Message Service (SMS) is a text messaging service component of phone, web, or
Mobile communication systems, using standardized communications protocols that allow the exchange of short text messages between fixed line or mobile phone devices.
SMS is the most widely used data application in the world, with 3.6 billion active users, or 78% of all mobile phone subscribers. The term "SMS" is used as an acronym for all types of short text messaging and the user activity itself in many parts of the world. SMS is also employed in direct marketing, known as SMS marketing.
SMS as used on modern handsets originated from radio telegraphy in radio memo pagers using standardized phone protocols. These were defined in 1985 as part of the Global System for Mobile Communications (GSM) series of standards as a means of sending messages of up to 160 characters to and from GSM mobile handsets. Though most SMS messages are mobile-to-mobile text messages, support for the service has expanded to include such other mobile technologies as ANSI CDMA networks and Digital AMPS, as well as satellite and landline networks.


JOKES
A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes may have many different forms, e.g., a single word or a gesture (considered in a particular context), a question-answer, or a whole short story. The word "joke" has a number of synonyms, including wisecrack, gag, prank, quip, jape and jest.
To achieve their end, jokes may employ irony, sarcasm, word play and other devices. Jokes may have a punch line, i.e. an ending to make it humorous.
A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken joke in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).
Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat" or "bombed". However, jokes have other purposes and functions, common to comedy/humour/satire in general.
Jokes have been a part of human culture since at least 1900 BC. According to research conducted by Dr Paul McDonald of the University of Wolverhampton, a fart joke from ancient Sumer is currently believed to be the world's oldest known joke. Britain's oldest joke, meanwhile, is a 1,000-year-old double-entendre that can be found in the Codex Exoniensis.
A recent discovery of a document called Philogelos (The Laughter Lover) gives us an insight into ancient humour. Written in Greek by Hierocles and Philagrius, it dates to the third or fourth century AD, and contains some 260 jokes. Considering humour from our own culture as recent as the 19th century is at times baffling to us today, the humour is surprisingly familiar. They had different stereotypes: the absent-minded professor, the eunuch, and people with hernias or bad breath were favourites. A lot of the jokes play on the idea of knowing who characters are:
A barber, a bald man and an absent minded professor take a journey together. They have to camp overnight, so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me."
There is even a joke similar to Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" sketch: a man buys a slave, who dies shortly afterwards. When he complains to the slave merchant, he is told: "He didn't die when I owned him." Comic Jim Bowen has presented them to a modern audience. "One or two of them are jokes I've seen in people's acts nowadays, slightly updated. They put in a motor car instead of a chariot - some of them are Tommy Cooper-esque."
Why people laugh at jokes has been the subject of serious academic study, examples being:
Immanuel Kant, in Critique of Judgement (1790) states that "Laughter is an effect that arises if a tense expectation is transformed into nothing." Here is Kant's two-century old joke and his analysis:
An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement. - Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman. - Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but how you managed to get it all in. - This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished...
Henri Bergson, in his book Le rire (Laughter, 1901), suggests that laughter evolved to make social life possible for human beings.
Sigmund Freud's "Jokes and their Relation to the Unconscious". (Der Witz und seine Beziehung zum Unbewußten).
Arthur Koestler, in The Act of Creation (1964), analyses humour and compares it to other creative activities, such as literature and science.
Marvin Minsky in Society of Mind (1986).
Marvin Minsky suggests that laughter has a specific function related to the human brain. In his opinion jokes and laughter are mechanisms for the brain to learn nonsense. For that reason, he argues, jokes are usually not as funny when you hear them repeatedly.
Edward de Bono in "The Mechanism of the Mind" (1969) and "I am Right, You are Wrong" (1990).
Edward de Bono suggests that the mind is a pattern-matching machine, and that it works by recognising stories and behaviour and putting them into familiar patterns. When a familiar connection is disrupted and an alternative unexpected new link is made in the brain via a different route than expected, then laughter occurs as the new connection is made. This theory explains a lot about jokes. For example:
Why jokes are only funny the first time they are told: once they are told the pattern is already there, so there can be no new connections, and so no laughter.
Why jokes have an elaborate and often repetitive set up: The repetition establishes the familiar pattern in the brain. A common method used in jokes is to tell almost the same story twice and then deliver the punch line the third time the story is told. The first two tellings of the story evoke a familiar pattern in the brain, thus priming the brain for the punch line.
Why jokes often rely on stereotypes: the use of a stereotype links to familiar expected behaviour, thus saving time in the set-up.
Why jokes are variants on well-known stories (e.g. the genie and a lamp and a man walks into a bar): This again saves time in the set up and establishes a familiar pattern.
In 2002, Richard Wiseman conducted a study intended to discover the world's funniest joke . Some elements of jokes have been observed in the Laugh Factory's report :
a feeling of superiority over the subject of the joke.
a sudden realization of a misconception(or of an over thought premise) or the realization that a subject has made an incongruous decision
edgy dialogue about sensitive topics such as marriage, morality, and illness.
that in animal jokes, those that feature ducks are the most funny
Laughter, the intended human reaction to jokes, is heal.


[Husband sent a text to wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."
He sent another text, "I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I'm getting u a new car"
She text back, "Omg really?"
Husband Replied: "No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg."

When Someone Touches You
And You Don't Feel It,
Its Ignorance.
When Someone Touches You
And You Feel It,
Its Love.
But When Nobody Touches You
But You Feel It, Then Its Khujli ..

I Saw It With My Eyes But Couldn't Understand It
Took It In My Hands, But Couldn't Understand It
Keep Thinking For A Long Time, But Again Couldn't Understand It
It was Not A Dream,
It was Is Not A Love,
It was Not Even Friendship,
Then I Realized: "It Was Question Paper"

If you love someone
Fight for him/her ...
But
If that someone loves somebody else ...
Be A Soldier.
Kill Them Both

Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!
After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too!

Birdy birdy in the sky
Dropped a poopy in my eyes,
I do not worry I do not cry
I am just happy that cows don't fly!

Finding you was not easy at all…
but it sure was worth the search!
Finally something worth it!!
Love You!

Exams are like girl friends
- difficult 2 understand
- too many questions
- more explanations are needed
And results are most of the time failure...

Kiss Is The Key Of Love,
Love Is The Lock Of Marriage,
Marriage Is The Box Of Children,
And too many Children means more Problem for the world
So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while...

A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road,
 He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM.]

Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English
Funny Sms Joke In English

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