Saturday, 9 March 2013

Funny Sms Jokes In Urdu


Funny Sms Jokes In Urdu Bioghraphy
adj. fun·ni·er, fun·ni·est
a. Causing laughter or amusement.
b. Intended or designed to amuse.
2. Strangely or suspiciously odd; curious.
3. Tricky or deceitful.
n. pl. fun·nies Informal
1. A joke; a witticism.
2. funnies
a. Comic strips.
b. The section of a newspaper containing comic strips.

 Arousing or provoking laughter; "an amusing film with a steady stream of pranks and pratfalls"; "an amusing fellow"; "a comic hat"; "a comical look of surprise"; "funny stories that made everybody laugh"; "a very funny writer"; "it would have been laughable if it hadn't hurt so much"; "a mirthful experience"; "risible courtroom antics"

Short Message Service (SMS) is a text messaging service component of phone, web, or
Mobile communication systems, using standardized communications protocols that allow the exchange of short text messages between fixed line or mobile phone devices.
SMS is the most widely used data application in the world, with 3.6 billion active users, or 78% of all mobile phone subscribers. The term "SMS" is used as an acronym for all types of short text messaging and the user activity itself in many parts of the world. SMS is also employed in direct marketing, known as SMS marketing.
 SMS as used on modern handsets originated from radio telegraphy in radio memo pagers using standardized phone protocols. These were defined in 1985 as part of the Global System for Mobile Communications (GSM) series of standards as a means of sending messages of up to 160 characters to and from GSM mobile handsets. Though most SMS messages are mobile-to-mobile text messages, support for the service has expanded to include such other mobile technologies as ANSI CDMA networks and Digital AMPS, as well as satellite and landline networks.

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes may have many different forms, e.g., a single word or a gesture (considered in a particular context), a question-answer, or a whole short story. The word "joke" has a number of synonyms, including wisecrack, gag, prank, quip, jape and jest.
To achieve their end, jokes may employ irony, sarcasm, word play and other devices. Jokes may have a punch line, i.e. an ending to make it humorous.
A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken joke in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).
Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat" or "bombed". However, jokes have other purposes and functions, common to comedy/humour/satire in general.
Jokes have been a part of human culture since at least 1900 BC. According to research conducted by Dr Paul McDonald of the University of Wolverhampton, a fart joke from ancient Sumer is currently believed to be the world's oldest known joke. Britain's oldest joke, meanwhile, is a 1,000-year-old double-entendre that can be found in the Codex Exoniensis.
A recent discovery of a document called Philogelos (The Laughter Lover) gives us an insight into ancient humour. Written in Greek by Hierocles and Philagrius, it dates to the third or fourth century AD, and contains some 260 jokes. Considering humour from our own culture as recent as the 19th century is at times baffling to us today, the humour is surprisingly familiar. They had different stereotypes: the absent-minded professor, the eunuch, and people with hernias or bad breath were favourites. A lot of the jokes play on the idea of knowing who characters are:
A barber, a bald man and an absent minded professor take a journey together. They have to camp overnight, so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me."
There is even a joke similar to Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" sketch: a man buys a slave, who dies shortly afterwards. When he complains to the slave merchant, he is told: "He didn't die when I owned him." Comic Jim Bowen has presented them to a modern audience. "One or two of them are jokes I've seen in people's acts nowadays, slightly updated. They put in a motor car instead of a chariot - some of them are Tommy Cooper-esque."
Why people laugh at jokes has been the subject of serious academic study, examples being:
Immanuel Kant, in Critique of Judgement (1790) states that "Laughter is an effect that arises if a tense expectation is transformed into nothing." Here is Kant's two-century old joke and his analysis:
An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement. - Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman. - Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but how you managed to get it all in. - This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished...
Henri Bergson, in his book Le rire (Laughter, 1901), suggests that laughter evolved to make social life possible for human beings.
Sigmund Freud's "Jokes and their Relation to the Unconscious". (Der Witz und seine Beziehung zum Unbewußten).
Arthur Koestler, in The Act of Creation (1964), analyses humour and compares it to other creative activities, such as literature and science.
Marvin Minsky in Society of Mind (1986).
Marvin Minsky suggests that laughter has a specific function related to the human brain. In his opinion jokes and laughter are mechanisms for the brain to learn nonsense. For that reason, he argues, jokes are usually not as funny when you hear them repeatedly.
Edward de Bono in "The Mechanism of the Mind" (1969) and "I am Right, You are Wrong" (1990).
Edward de Bono suggests that the mind is a pattern-matching machine, and that it works by recognising stories and behaviour and putting them into familiar patterns. When a familiar connection is disrupted and an alternative unexpected new link is made in the brain via a different route than expected, then laughter occurs as the new connection is made. This theory explains a lot about jokes. For example:
Why jokes are only funny the first time they are told: once they are told the pattern is already there, so there can be no new connections, and so no laughter.
Why jokes have an elaborate and often repetitive set up: The repetition establishes the familiar pattern in the brain. A common method used in jokes is to tell almost the same story twice and then deliver the punch line the third time the story is told. The first two tellings of the story evoke a familiar pattern in the brain, thus priming the brain for the punch line.
Why jokes often rely on stereotypes: the use of a stereotype links to familiar expected behaviour, thus saving time in the set-up.
Why jokes are variants on well-known stories (e.g. the genie and a lamp and a man walks into a bar): This again saves time in the set up and establishes a familiar pattern.
In 2002, Richard Wiseman conducted a study intended to discover the world's funniest joke . Some elements of jokes have been observed in the Laugh Factory's report :
a feeling of superiority over the subject of the joke.
a sudden realization of a misconception(or of an over thought premise) or the realization that a subject has made an incongruous decision
edgy dialogue about sensitive topics such as marriage, morality, and illness.
that in animal jokes, those that feature ducks are the most funny
Laughter, the intended human reaction to jokes, is heal.


Urdu /ˈʊərduː/ (اُردُو [ˈʊrd̪u] ( listen)), or more precisely Standard Urdu, is a standardized register of the Hindustani language (Hindi-Urdu). It is the national language and lingua franca of Pakistan. It is also an official language of five Indian states and one of the 22 scheduled languages in the Constitution of India.
Based on the Khariboli dialect of Delhi, Urdu developed under the influence of Persian, Arabic, and Turkic languages over the course of almost 900 years. It originated in the region of Uttar Pradesh in the Indian subcontinent during the Delhi Sultanate (1206–1527), and continued to develop under the Mughal Empire (1526–1858). Urdu is mutually intelligible with Standard Hindi spoken in India. Both languages share the same Indo-Aryan base, and are so similar in basic structure, grammar and to a large extent vocabulary and phonology, that they appear to be one language. The combined population of Urdu and Standard Hindi speakers is the fourth largest in the world.
Mughals hailed from the Barlas tribe which was of Mongol origin, the tribe had embraced Turkic[10] and Persian culture, and resided in Turkestan and Khorasan. Their mother tongue was the Chaghatai language (known to them as Turkī, "Turkic") and they were equally at home in Persian, the lingua franca of the Timurid elite. But after their arrival in the Indian subcontinent, the need to communicate with local inhabitants led to use of Indo-Aryan languages written in the Persian alphabet, with some literary conventions and vocabulary retained from Persian and Turkic; this eventually became a new standard called Hindustani, which is the direct predecessor of Urdu.

[School vs University
School=Pencil, Rubber, Sharpner, Scale,
 Uni=Ek balpen wo b frnds se cheena hua,
School=Class me enter hony se phly May i come,
 Uni=Bina batae he mobile kan se lga k class se bhr,
School=bag me hr sbjct ki book & copy,
 Uni=Yar aik paper to phar k de de,
School=Class test me star,
 Uni=Full moon hi naseeb hota hy yar
School=Dost mje wo wali class felow achi lagti hai, 2nd ok
 Uni=Jigr bachi chek kr, dusra oye shram kr bhabi hai teri
 Wondrful school days&LOVELY UNI LIFE.

Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
 "Mun mai pani ana"
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia

Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela
 Note ke oper lekha tha "EID MUBARAK"
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha,
owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola

Sardar to Son: Ja Puttar ek glass pani le ke aa
Son: Sorry abba mai nahi ja sakda
2nd Son: Abba ae te hai e chawal, to aap le ke aa

 Sardar darakht pe ulta latka howa tha
 Friend: Tu darakht pe kion latka hai?
Sardar: Sar dard ki goli khayi hai kahen pait mai na chali jaye

 Sardar ankhain band karky Ayena (mirror) ke samny khara hogia
 Bewi ne pocha; Yai kia kar rahy ho?
 Sardar: Daikh raha ke mai sotay howe kesa lagta hon

 Sardar was painting his room
Us ne Chat ko paint karkay
 Diwaron par likha

Sardar and his wife applied in court for Divorce
 Judge: How will you divide, you have 3 kids.
 Sardar:ok, we should next year !

 Police: Tumhari wife ghum howi to tum ne Police ko kion nahi bataya?
 Saradar: O Jee pahly scooter ghum howa tha to police ne 20 din chala ke wapis ki thi.

 Sardar to Wife: Light nahi hai tu phankh tu chala do
 Wife: Akhir sardar hi ho na, aqal tu hai hi nahi, phanka chalayenge tu moom-batti bujh jayegi

 Hitlar during Speech: Mairi dictionary mai IMPOSSIBLE ka lafz nahi
Sardar Uth ke bola: tay mama waikh ke laini ci na Dictionary!

 3 Pathan film "Sholay" daikhny gaye
 Hero ne kaha "Basanti en kutton ke samny mat nachna
 Pathan khary hokar boly: "Ticket lia hai, eska baap bhi nachega"

Pathan: Yaar abhi tumhare ammi ka Kaansi kesa hai?
 Dost: Kaansi Band hogayi, Magar ab saans ruk ruk ke arahi hai
 Pathan: Koi baat nahi, Khuda ne chaha tu wo bhi band ho jaye ga

1 Pathan PCO ke andar gia
 Jaib se mobile nekala owr baat karky bahir agia
 Admi: Khan Sahb Mobile call karni thi tu PCO mai kion gaye?
Pathan: Dost ne kaha PCO se call karna, paisy kam lagengy

Ek Pathan angoor bech raha tha
 Magar kah raha tha "aalo le lo aalo"
 1 Admi ne kaha Khan sahb yai tu angoor hain
Pathan: Chup ! Warna Makkiyan aa jayengi

 Masjid mai elaan hogia ke
 1 bacha mela hai JIN KA HAI, aa ke le jayen
1 Pathan jaldi agia owr bola: Mujhe bhi dikhawo "JIN" ka bacha kesa hota hai !

 1 Pathan bachpan se heran-o-pareshan our Tension mai tha
Yai soch kar ke mairi behn ke 2 bhai hai, owr maira 1 bhai kion?

1 Pathan Quaid-e-Azam ki Mazar par ja kar dua kar raha tha
 "Maira Prize Bond har sorat mai nekalna chahie"
 Jese hi wo Mazar se bahir agia, kesi ne uske Jaib se Prize Bond nekal lia tha
Wo dobar Mazar gia owr bola: "Jinah Sahb ! Pahly pori baat tu samaj lia karain"

1 Pathan 4 meter lamby pipe se hukka pi raha tha
 Dost ne pocha: Etny lambay pipe se kion pi rahay ho?
 Pathan: Doctor Sahb ne tambako se door renhy ka kaha hai

 1 Pathan 15 saal se Allah Se Awlaad ke lie dua mangta raha
1 din Pathan ke pas Farishta aa kar bola:
"Khan sahb tujhe Allah ka wasta hai
Pahly Shadi tu kar le"

 Pathan ka challenge
 Pathan: Mai Meenar-e-pakistan ko sar par utha kar Peshawar le ja sakta hon.
 Hazaron log ekathay ho gaye
 Pathan: Bas ese utha kar mairy sar par rakho tum !]

Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu
Funny Sms Joke In Urdu

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